Husbands need to be changed and their wives know it! There is a way in a woman that goes about changing her husband in such a way that is destructive rather than constructive. See Proverbs 14:1.

1 – Words won’t work (vs. 1-2)

Men don’t want a seminar or reminded every day. It is the conduct of the wives that works rather than words. There is to be communication in marriage. However, if you want to change your husband you shouldn’t use words. See Proverbs 9:13. A foolish woman makes lots of noise. A husband is not influenced by words but by doing things. See Proverbs 21:9, 19. Words will tear down the marriage. See Proverbs 12:4. You shame your husband and are burning down your home when you nag your husband.

2 – Outward beauty won’t last (vs. 3-4)

Relationships need a better foundation than the beauty of the husband or wife. Don’t let your outward external appearance be your crowning beauty. Clothes, hair and jewellery are not wrong. It is wrong if there is over attention to external beauty. It is the inward beauty of the heart that lasts a lifetime. You can’t keep your husband interested in you by external beauty alone. It is a thing of diminishing returns as you get older! You need another plan. God uses a woman’s inner beauty to transform her husband.

3 – Inner beauty is submissive (vs. 4-5)

A wife is to place herself under her own husband. They are not to submit to another man nor are they instructed to submit themselves to men in general. This is a choice of the wife rather than a brutish force by the husband. Husbands are to love their wives and put them first. To transform their husband they need to be submissive to their husband. This is not easy to do but it is the right thing to do. The wife must obey God rather than man. If it is sinful then do not do it. See 1 Peter 5:5. There is to be submission to elders. If things are failing in the home then the woman can contact the elders. If things are dangerous in the home then the wife should call the police. The wife is to be submissive but the husband is to put his wife first. Two headships is a monster. We are to be submissive like Jesus was submissive to the Father.

4 – Inner beauty is chaste or pure (vs. 4)

Everywhere you go you are to be pure in your conduct. There is purity rather than piety. In spite of any husband shortcomings. The wife is to please God who puts great value on inner beauty. It is no sin to be well-dressed (see Proverbs 31:22). But it is wrong to be preoccupied with outward appearances at the expense of inward beauty. A beautiful woman who lacks inner beauty and character is, according to Proverbs, like a pig with a gold ring in its nose. See Proverbs 11:22.

5 – Inner beauty is of a gentle and quiet spirit. (vs. 4-6)

The wife is not pushy or demanding. She will calmly bear the disturbance of others. Her words are not rude or crude. She does not cause conflict, she resolves it.

• Inner beauty proven – Inner beauty is persuasive. It will communicate the message better than any words or gestures.
• Inner beauty is permanent. A woman does not get worthless as she gets older. There is an inner beauty that you can’t get surgery to improve. It is a beauty that only God can affect. It removes imperfections for good.
• Inner beauty is precious. It is precious in God’s sight. The husband may not see it. We are to please God. God will change the husband.
• Inner beauty is powerful. This is how holy woman adorned themselves in the Bible. Sarah called Abraham “lord” (Master). She had a respect for her husband which made her a beautiful woman and an example for all to follow.

Categories: 1 Peter