Sometimes marriage may not be going well. God is the author of marriage so we can go to the Word of God to see where your marriage can get a makeover.

Marriage is not between two people. It is between one man and one woman. If we sanction marriage between two men or between two women we are heading towards another Sodom and Gomorrah.

1 – It is a commanded love (vs. 25)

It is a command. We are not to consider it. We are commanded to stay in love. God has legislated love. The number one reason that a husband is to love his wife is that it is God’s will. It should not be feelings.

2 – The nature of this commanded love

There is an emotional love that is romantic. People are attracted to one another. It is a powerful love. There is a deeper love. If you do not go to this deeper love then your marriage will be in trouble.

This deeper love is God’s love. This is “agape” love. This is a love which meets to needs of others. It is not a selfish love. It is not an emotional love. It is a love that comes from the will. You will love someone even though they have made mistakes. Many couples cannot make it past the feelings stage.

Can you survive when the newness wears off? Agape love is a deeper that lasts. It is God’s love. Can you imagine what would happen to us if God’s love was emotional rather than volitional? He may not feel like loving us! Agape love is based on the will.

Every marriage begins with a divorce. It is a divorce from your own self love. You take this love and transfer it to the other person.

3 – The nature of this commanded love

God commands husbands to have a deeper love. This is required when the newness starts to wear off. You can’t trust emotions.

It is the deeper love that will maintain your romantic love. You will strive to meet the needs of the other person. They will feel romantic love. The wife is also to have this deeper love for their husband. Romantic love cannot sustain the deeper love.

4 – It is a compared love (vs. 25)

• It is a stated love. Jesus told us that he loves the church. See Galatians 2:20 & Romans 8:37. It starts by telling one another. Just tell your wife or husband that you love them.
• It is a standard love. Make it a part of your everyday life. You only need to make a phone call or send a letter to show your love.
• It is a shown love. Christ has shown his love. Love will do something. Don’t just say you love your wife – show it! There was a time you showed love but you don’t do it anymore.

5 – It is a compassionate love (vs. 28-30)

You should do for your mate what you would do for your own self. It is a love that is nourished. Love has to be worked on.

It will keep your marriage happy. The word “cherish” means “to warm with tenderness”. Marriage needs T-L-C. A man needs to be tough enough to be tender. It is the small things that mean the most. The big things do not impress as much. Men should be paying attention to their wives. Are you more compassionate to others than your husband or wife?

6 – It is a complete love (vs. 31)

The bond between husband and wife is stronger than the bond with your parents. Your parents no longer tell you what to do. A parent’s authority ends when a child gets married. Your tie with your parents comes second to your tie with your husband or wife.

A complete love will put Christ first. It will overcome those weaknesses in your life. It will meet the deepest needs of your mate. You wife is a manual spend the time to get to know her! A complete love is compassion. Do you have more compassion to wash your car than love your wife? Look for the positives, not the negatives. You will elevate the self-esteem of your mate. A complete love will tackle adversity together. Put some fire into your relationship today.

Categories: Ephesians