With the push of a button, we can bring a building that has been around for years, tumbling down. The same is true in the family. The marriage may have been going for years and suddenly it crumples o the ground and you spend years picking up the pieces. If a marriage is going to stay together we need a man’s man. Today’s society has at times sought to feminise men. There are already more women than men! We need some men! Even the little boys are being turned into sissies. It is not unusual for boys to get scrapes. There is a difference between boys and girls. A boy picks his team based on ability. A girl picks her team based on relationship. If a girl gets hurt the game will stop. If a boy gets hurt they will want to get him out of the way so that they can continue! We are born differently. A man doesn’t want to be warm and fuzzy. The Bible gives us three ways to be a real man – a man’s man.

1 – To love his family (vs. 25)

Some guys think of a love that bought. (E.g. based on money that they bring into the household). Some think that love is manipulation to get what they want. Some think that it is conditional. Real love according to the Bible is sacrificial love

• A heavenly love – Our example of love is in heaven. Love is a verb. It is something you do. We choose to love as Christ chose to love us. What kind of love is the man to have?

1. Tender love.
2. Tough love. We still have to tell our loved ones the truth.
3. Tenacious love. He keeps on loving us despite our faults and failures.
4. Total love. He loves all parts. It is 100%.
5. Terrific love. The sum results in a terrific love.

• A human love – See 1 Peter 3:7. This is how we live out this heavenly love on earth.

1. Consideration – We need to have understanding of our wife. We don’t have to understand all women – just your wife. When you get married you go to school. You are to spend the rest of your life trying to understand your wife.
2. Courtesy – We are to give honour to our wife. Do you show more consideration to others than your wife? You can’t honour what you don’t know so you need consideration first. You need to tune in to your wife.
3. Communion – We are to be together with our wife. You need to spend time with each other. You need to find time together. There is no excuse. It should be a priority.

The man has to love God’s way and not the woman’s way. There are many ways that a man can express his love in practical ways. It is his way. He is not a woman! Don’t get your expectations from soap operas! It is better to be a man of your word, a man with integrity and a man who has time for his children. The husband needs a cheerleader and not someone to tear them apart. He may not be everything you want but he is all the man you need.

2 – To lead his family

The man is to be the leader in the home. This leadership is tied to a few other shifts.

• Lordship (vs. 20) – Only a man who is under authority can be entrusted with authority. You won’t have so many problems with others accepting your leadership if you are under the Lordship of Christ.
• Partnership (vs. 30) – It is to be a partnership. 1+1 = 1! It is a mystery. Two different people become one in a partnership.
• Headship (vs. 22-23) – The men like to quote this one! The woman is to be submissive to her own husband, not all men. The man is not to be a dictator. The husband is the head of the wife. The husband should not force the woman to be the leader. The man loses respect with the woman when he “wimps” out. You can only be a leader if you get out in front! This is a man’s man. He can’t lead if the wife is stubborn. The woman is line up under her husband. The man is to lead the children also! A passive father equals a rebellious child. A dad is needed to lead the children also.

3 – To lift his family (vs. 25)

The dad should make a difference in the family. It shouldn’t be a rare thing to see their dad reading his Bible or praying. Can your children depend on you to look after them? Will you always be there in their time of need? Men need to be encouraged as well as women. You may think you have too many mistakes and it is too late. You need to get up and keep fighting. That is a man’s man.

Categories: Ephesians