If you want romantic love to be expressed there are things that need to get said often and even daily. Men tend to find it more difficult to express their love.

1. Why I should express my love (1:5-6)

It is needed. Everyone needs to hear love expressed. The woman lacks assurance of her attractiveness. We tend to focus on the things we find as weaknesses rather than our strengths. The woman is dark skinned. Today we see this as something attractive. White skin today is not seen as healthy! The woman has spent a lot of time working with her hands in the sun. She feels shame. She is saying “Don’t look at me”. How many women have said this before? She is not happy with her body. This is the “vineyard” she is speaking about. We all need to hear expressions of love from those we love in our lives. No one is that strong that they don’t need to hear expressions of love regularly. We should not be taken for granted. We not focus on positives rather than negatives. This needs to be communicated. See Proverbs 3:27. It is a good thing to express our love.

2. How to do it – verbal confirmation

See Song of Solomon 1:15-16. This is more important than compliments. The man affirms her as a person rather than just her physical appearance. Love needs to be based upon more than just physical appearance as it will fade with age. The woman responds with verbal confirmation. Men can need verbal confirmation as well. It is important when:-

• We fail – We do not have to be a failure because we fail.
• We are rejected – We need the support of those who are closest to us. See John 6. Jesus experienced the rejection of the multitude. The twelve stayed with him. Peter gives Jesus words of confirmation.
• When circumstances send the wrong message – It can difficult to balance work and home. It is important to talk when circumstances may send a wrong message. It requires verbal confirmation.
• When things are changing – It may seem that your commitment has changed. We need to confirm things verbally in a positive way.

3. How to do it – value comparisons

See Song of Solomon 1:8. You are number one among many. You are a lily among thorns. (See Song of Solomon 2:2). It is not to produce pride. It is just the opinion of one person. There is no one who can touch my wife or husband. There is no one I love more. This should not be a problem after years of marriage, unless it is not being said. See Song of Solomon 2:3. The woman sees plenty of trees that look the same but then she saw an apple tree that stood out and had fruit. This reminded her of the man she loves. The man also needs to know that he is valuable to the woman that he loves.

Categories: Song of Solomon