The child is often a reflection of his or her parents. Many parents leave their children alone to develop themselves and we are reaping the results in our homes, schools and prisons. We are to train our children.

1 – It should commence with childhood

We are not to train up adults or teenagers. We are to start earlier. We are to dedicate our lives to our child. It is no longer just about pleasing you. Children are not born dedicated to the Lord. It is up to parents to train their children. See Proverbs 19:18. If you don’t start when they are young then it will come to a point when it is hopeless to try. You can bend a small sapling but when it becomes a large tree it is impossible to bend. See Proverbs 13:24. We are to discipline our children. The Bible mentions spanking our children when necessary. See Isaiah 28:9-10. Children can learn much from an early age. They are like sponges soaking up information. They have a tremendous curiosity factor. They are keen to learn. Children are humble and not so full of pride – if you get them early enough. See Matthew 18:2. Timothy learnt from an early age. See 2 Timothy 3:15. You can have children who come from the same parents but they are so different. E.g. Cain & Abel. We are to train our children according to their particular bent. We are all different. God makes no copies but only originals.

2 – You should correct with consistency

We all think we have the best child in the world. We know what we would do with someone else’s child. We just can’t contain our own child.

• See Proverbs 22:15. The Bible says foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The word “foolishness” means “silliness”. They don’t know what they are doing is wrong. The parents have to make the decisions for the child until they get older.
• See Proverbs 13:24. If you won’t discipline your child then you love yourself rather than your child. You will ruin your child so that you feel good. Is not about you – it is about the child.
• See Hebrews 12:6. The Lord does not spare His discipline on us. The children of today are not afraid of anything. The Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Children need to know that they can’t cross a certain line.

If you discipline then you will save yourself some disgrace. See Proverbs 29:15-17. Leave your child alone and you will be brought to shame. See Proverbs 23:13-14. This is not child abuse. We are not to beat a child near to death. See Proverbs 19:18. We are not to let the child bully us by crying. Let them cry! Otherwise they learn that they get what they want by crying. We need to remember what is best for the child and not us.

3 – Rules for correction

• Start early.
• The rod is the last resort.
• Keep your promises. If you say “one more time and you will get it” then give it to them if they do.
• Present a united front. Don’t let them play mother against father. Kids are smart. If you disagree as parents then do it in private and not in front of the kids.
• Discipline in love. Don’t do it out of anger.
• Set limits and boundaries. Be a parent first and stop trying to always be a pal. Your goal is to be a parent.
• Limit the TV. The TV has become the glorified babysitter. You need to spend time with your children. You need to limit the TV if you watch it too much as well!

4 – Why children are ruling in the home

• Parents are scared to be rejected. We are not to be so emotionally secure.
• Real parenting takes time.
• Compensation for deprivation. We want our children to have what we didn’t have when we were growing up. We can overcompensate. We will spoil the child.
• Status. We want our children to everything that the neighbours have.
• Giving in is the easiest thing to do. We need to learn to say “No!”
• Parents know nothing about what children are doing in school.
• Homework requires involvement.
• Be honest about your kid’s weaknesses. No one’s kid is perfect. Don’t blame others.
• Talk about school daily. Don’t be surprised by the progress report!

5 – What we are producing

• Kids who are lazy. They don’t do work around the house. We were lazy but our parents didn’t let us away with it. They will happily eat your food all day!
• Ingratitude. Kids need to learn to do without. If we give them everything they become ungrateful.
• Irresponsible. You need to bend them when they are young. They are going nowhere in their life.
• Drop-outs. Too many children are dropping out of school early and not going on to higher education.
• Criminals. All these have the effect of producing criminals who shoot people and steal.

Imagine what would happen if we each mentored a young person. God help us, to help our children.

Categories: Proverbs