1 – The power of communication

It is important to learn to communicate before your marriage starts to disintegrate. There is no way your marriage can be what you want it be unless you learn how to communicate. Some 80% of marriage problems are because of communication problems. Jesus is the great communicator. There are five levels of communication:-

• The frivolous level – The weather. This is the shallowest level.
• The factual level – The news, weather, sport, etc. The fellowship level – We begin to share what we think.
• The feeling level – We tell people exactly how we feel. We do this with our friends.
• The freedom level – No hold barred. We know each other with such intimacy. This is the deepest level.

See 1 Peter 3:10. The secret of getting along is to make communication the number one priority of your marriage. The tongue can also be extremely destructive. Direction and destruction is in the tongue. How do we communicate in our marriage?

2 – The problems of communication

There are six of them:-

• Men – Most the time men fail to do what the Bible requires. The husband is to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. The man thinks differently from the woman. Men have an analytical and tough mind. The woman has a compassionate and emotional mind. The man does not like to ask for directions or let his wife drive the car. The man wants to be in control. It is the way he is made. Women like to talk using many words. The man is more concise and talks less.
• Bitterness (See 1 Peter 2:23) – There is a root of bitterness that destroys many marriages. It is never dealt with. It should be dealt with BEFORE the sun sets down. If not then bitterness will set in.
• Self-centredness (See 1 Peter 2:24) – Most arguments are ego against ego. The problems are not so big that they cannot be resolved. The people are too small to resolve them.
• The lack of interest and distractions (See 1 Peter 2:25) – The Lord Jesus was so interested in us when we went astray. We tend to wonder like sheep so we need to be like Jesus. Some of the worse distractions are TV, the computer and the Internet.
• Insecurity – It is fear. We do not trust our partner. See 1 Peter 3:8. The woman wants the man to lead in prayer and the man wants to keep the walls up. To pray with your wife is important. The man must take the lead. The man will pray himself (Take the roof off) but is reluctant to pray with his wife (Take the walls down)
• Busyness – We are so caught up in our work, etc.

3 – Practices in communication

Here are four to practice:-

• Listen to your wife.
• Deal with your ego. There is no place for pride. In a war no one wins. You need one wedding and two funerals.
• Die to your egos. Overlook problems and don’t repay evil with evil. If one throws fire you throw water. Learn to be gentle with your partner. Give them something different to react to.
• Plan and work for communication – You make time. If you don’t have time to pray or talk then make time. If not then your marriage is in danger.

Categories: Proverbs